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Hotline Discusion:My Dad Is In The Wrong :QuestionAnswerUse SHIFT+ENTER to open the menu (new window).Open MenuOpen Menu
Edited: 8/30/2011 2:02 PM by
My Dad Is In The Wrong
My dad has never been an at home father. He's always been out with his friends at bars, riding street bikes. He has been going to Mexico for the without me, and my mom and my little brother. My mom has found him cheating on her. She has low self esteem.
 
When ever my mom tries to confront my dad about what he is doing he always ends up yelling at her, and ends up fighting. He hits her, and pushes her sometimes. My brother isn't in a healthy environment. He starts to cry, and gets so scared when my parents start to fight. One day my mom was going to go out with her friends (all girls), and they were going to go to a coffee shop. My father saw my mom, and how pretty she looked, and flipped out on my mom.
 
He said "I bet you want to go find something!" He also said "if your going to go find someone why don't we just get divorced right now?!". This was all in front of my little brother. I wish I know how to help my mom get her self-confidence up, and talk my dad into thinking that what he is doing is wrong because he won't admit it.
Edited: 8/30/2011 2:03 PM by
Thanks for writing in. How sad for you and your little brother to have to be exposed to this fighting and unsafe environment. One of the saddest things is that there truly is nothing you can do to change your Father's behavior. What you can do however is to help your brother, your Mother and yourself. 

To help your brother, make a pact, create a "safe place" so each time your parents begin to fight or your father begins to yell, stop what you are doing and escape to the "safe place".  In that place, have books or a favorite toy or music to listen to.  Something that will distract from the fighting that is going on. 
 
Make sure it is a place that he can get to whether it is night or day. We suggest having it be in your home somewhere. The pact should be an agreement, a promise that whether you are both there or he is the only one home, he will go there.

Talk with someone that your father does listen to like perhaps your grandparents. Perhaps they could get him to see what he is doing and how it is hurting your family. It is great that your mother has some friends. Support her by encouraging her to spend time with them whenever she can.

You are a good daughter and bid sister.  We will pray that something will get through to your Dad and encourage him to look in the mirror and see what he is doing.

Take care and stay in touch.

Pat, Counselor