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Edited: 12/20/2011 2:21 PM by
I Try To Talk To Mom

I've been having a really hard time here. My mom has been a little grouchy since her boy friend  broke up with her, and every time I try to talk to her she turns the table on me. My boy friend also broke up with me. Then my best friend  has been ignoring me. Now I've been coming home like every night with homework because I'm so stressed and upset. 

I'm always  shy and secretive when I try to talk to some else. When I try to talk to a friend or adult! I'm a little embarrassed to go and talk to a counselor because they will probably end up telling my mom everything I said. Now I do not know what to do really. At school well let's just say I'm not popular.

Edited: 1/17/2012 11:07 AM by

Thanks for contacting Boys Town for support and advice. Everyone in life goes through tough periods but you shouldn’t have to go through it alone. Please know that our counselors are available to offer you support and guidance anytime you need it.

It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of stress from different environments…home, school, and friends. We understand that you would be feeling overwhelmed from trying to balance it all. We’re really worried about you and want to make sure that you’re taking good care of yourself. Although life is stressful there are things that you can do to manage your stress. One way to manage stress is by using coping skills. These are a set of activities or skills that you use to bounce back and manage your emotions.

One excellent coping skill for stress is deep breathing exercises. Take a deep breath in, hold it for a few seconds, and then release and tell yourself "I can do this". There’s also plenty of helpful sites on the web that describe diaphragmic breathing" or belly breathing which is a good way to combat stress. You can check one out here http://stress.about.com/od/stressmanagementtools/ht/deep_breathing.htm. This is helpful and easy as it can be done in nearly any setting.

It’s also important that you don’t isolate yourself. You mentioned that you get choked up when you try to talk to your counselor. Lots of teens tell us the same thing. They’re nervous to talk to their counselor or not sure if they’ll back out. It takes a lot of courage, but most report back that once they did talk to their counselor they were really glad that they did. Try to find the inner courage to reach out for the help that you deserve.

School counselors are trained to deal with a variety of issues, they’re non-judgmental, and can offer you face to face advice which is really beneficial. And they’ll only talk to your mom if you’re making comments about hurting yourself or others.

Give your mom some time. As you know from your recent break-up, break-ups are hard. Try to be understanding and don’t take it personal if she’s a bit grouchy. Try reaching out to her by thinking of fun activities that you two can do together. This will help keep things light hearted and fun. And hopefully your bff will come around soon. You can also reach out to her by letting her know that you miss her and you want things to go back to normal.

Take care of yourself and keep reaching out for help! Remember that our counselors are always here and you can call us anytime at 1-800-448-3000.

Best,

Jessie, Counselor