Thank you for writing in and sharing what is going on in your family. This is a really difficult time in your life. You are expected to conduct yourself in a somewhat grown up manner, yet you are not old enough to participate in a lot of social activities or have a job. Typically at your age you are not allowed to date or go out unless you are in a group. Parents expect you to be responsible with your academics and help around the house. They sometimes forget that you are still growing up and need nurturing, encouragement and guidance to make good decisions.

You shared with us how your Mother talks to you and treats you. You did not however, fill us in on the environment in your Father's home. Is it a place where you feel safe, loved and cared for physically and emotionally? Would your Father want you to come and live there? Have the two of you ever talked about that possibility or has your Mother just threatened you?

Please take the time to really take a look at the pros and cons or the advantages and disadvantages of living with your Mother or living with your Father. Look at the physical things like would you have your own room both places, would you be able to feel as comfortable one place as the other, would you participate in family activities in both places? Also look at the emotional part of being in one place or the other. Write these things down so you can get a more clear picture of your options.

You may want to talk with an adult that you trust who can help you take everything into consideration.

Good luck and take care of yourself.

Pat, Counselor