I don't know if I'm depressed or not. I have had some serious family issues for about 5 years, my mother is an alcoholic and is currently in rehab. My dad is depressed because he owns his own business that is not doing so well, so we are pressed for money. My brother who means the most to me is leaving to study abroad for the next semester.

I haven't had serious thoughts of suicide although I have thought about "what if I did die". I never would actually go through with it though because it would be too horrible for my family and because I know the future will be better. There isn't anyone I can really talk to seriously about my life with, I don't want others to think differently about me. 

I have been really down, it usually comes in waves where I'll be fine but the next second I'll be about to cry. I am embarrassed to ask my dad to set up a doctors appointment and I don't want the doctor to just say, "oh, everyone gets sad, you're normal". I never want to do homework and I just feel as though there is no use to school. I mean honestly, you're going to die anyways, why spend your life in a place that sucks.

I try to put off my homework as much as I can but then I just end up having to do it in one night and then I get so stressed out. I just don't know if I am stressed or if I do need other help such as antidepressants. Someone I know said that they think I'm depressed but I just don't know.