Divorce is the pits...for everybody involved. That's why you want to run away so often. Just think about running away, though. It's not safe, and it doesn't solve your problems. In fact, runaways have to deal with another set of problems. Hopefully, you understand that running away from home is just not worth it.
Having connections to help you cope IS worth doing. You mentioned that you trust God to get you through this. Good for you. Some people believe that no matter how many people let them down, God is The One who will not. It happens to be Easter weekend. Are you planning on going to any Easter services/masses? If there ever is a time to get spiritually connected, this weekend is the time to start. Allow God to direct you, especially through those challenges in life, and say a prayer for yourself. He will answer you.
If there are times in your life that you feel most despaired, please know that suicide is not an option for you. Most problems in life are temporary. Suicide is just the opposite; it's permanent. You cannot change a temporary problem by implementing something so permanent. Try calling us, at: 1-800-448-3000, or emailing us as soon as you can. Talking about what you are feeling will help you; you do not have to resort to ending your life.
It's unfortunate that you had to stop seeing your counselor, but if you still want to talk to your school counselor, you can do so. That is what counselors at school do for the students who attend there. Some counselors are familiar with programs that help kids get through their parents' divorces. One program has been called "Banana Splits." Get it? Perhaps your counselor knows of a school, library, and/or community center that has something similar to Banana Splits. Give it a try, and let us know how it goes.
You can also begin keeping a journal about yourself. It may help you with your self-esteem development. Every day, or when you can afford the time, you write an entry in it, describing an event that day in which you assisted yourself, or someone else. Then, you write how you think that you made yourself, or that other person, feel after you did it. Start with small tasks, such as holding a door open for someone, giving someone a compliment, putting together a cool outfit for yourself, etc. Eventually, you hope to fill up the notebook with entries, all about the things that you do to make a difference for yourself, a difference for others, a difference in the world. Be proud of even the little things that you accomplish. It makes you feel good. Feeling good, during a time in your life when things are not so good, will help your life get better.
We are here for you, so keep in touch with us!
Take care,
Jacque, Counselor