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Edited: 3/5/2010 2:47 PM by
My Depression is Taking a Toll on Me

     my depression is beginning to take a toll on my life. i've always had depression and anxiety, but its really begun to get worse in the past year or so. i am one of eight children and my parents have always seen me to be a bad kid, no matter what i do. they have never trusted me and continue to make me feel worthless, disgusting, a disgrace to them. i have endured verbal abuse from my mother for as long as i can remember. whats more, i have recently decided to go against their wishes and not pursue a career in medicine, which makes them hate me even more. honestly, i can't remember the last time my parents said they were proud of me or that they loved me. i feel that i can't talk to anyone about what i am feeling. i don't have very many friends, and the friends i do have would rather blather on to me about their lives than listen to anything i have to say. i have always been a good listener and i try so hard to listen to my friends problems and offer them good advice. i never complain that their constant stories are annoying and i never yell at them. but whenever i want to talk about my feelings they either don't respond, change the subject, or just say "that sucks". its come to the point where i don't tell anyone anything. i have so much anger, frustration, and emotion bottled up inside of me that i feel as if i'm going to burst. i try to mask my emotions, otherwise no one would want to be around me. but i can't do it anymore. every single day i dwell on my emotions and everyday i feel lonely, ugly, stupid and unwanted.it's overwhelming and it never ends. the feelings never go away. it's caused me to hate everyone i come in contact with. i'm pushing everyone away because i know that they can never help me and will never be there for me. i desperately need someone to talk to, but i feel that i have no options and no one to turn to. its come to the point where i've seriously been considering suicide, and i don't know what to do or who i am anymore. it seems to me that happiness it only a dream, something meant for others and not for me. can you offer any advice? at this point, i'll take anything, anything i can get.
Edited: 3/5/2010 2:52 PM by
Thanks for taking the time to reach out to us tonight. With all that is going on, it is no wonder that you are feeling as down as you are. You provide such a great listening ear to your friend, and in return you get nothing. What others do not often know, is that the listeners need help sometimes too. You are not alone in this situation, and there is help out there.
 
You come from a large family, have managed to stay strong, and make it through school, so it is apparent you are doing something right. Some parents are not as affectionate as others, that does not mean that they do not love you. Because you are not going to pursue a medical career, that does not mean they hate you. In their mind, they had something they thought they could encourage you to do. As a young lady, verging on adulthood, you are making some of your own choices. This might be hard for them to accept, but trust me, they will accept it in due time.
 
Give your parents some time to come around, and see that you can be successful even if you do not go in the medical field. Once they completely understand that, then they will more than likely open up, and be more supportive of your choices.
 
The fact that you mention suicide is very concerning to us. It is very important that you realize that this time in your life is temporary, and that it is inevitable that you will move past this. However, death is something that you can not come back from. Your family would be devastated by the loss. It is important that you talk with someone about how you are feeling. Things have gotten out of control enough, and there is no more time to keep things bottled in.
 
If you can not talk to your parents right now, then turn to a school counselor, a teacher your trust, or another adult that you feel comfortable talking to. Let them know that you are really struggling, and that you need some support. It might not be easy at first, but getting it out will be a great relief. Once you get this out, and have others helping you, then you can move forward. Things can, and things will get better for you. Whatever you are feeling now, you will not feel for a lifetime.
 
In the meantime, try journaling down some of your feelings. This is a good way to get things out, and to reflect on them. Focus on the things in your life that you do have control over. For instance, you have control over what friends you talk to, if you are overloaded, then you might not be in a position to be there for them right now. It is okay to just focus on you, and getting through your problems. Keep your chin up, and talk with those around you. We are here 24/7, and have counselors available now if you need a listening ear. We want to help!
Best,
Mandi, Counselor