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Edited: 4/8/2010 2:20 PM by
I Want To Get Through To My Mother
Hi.  I kind of need advice on something. Well....
I feel very sad and depressed about many things and I thought I should talk to my mom about them for help. But it seems like everytime I talk to her about my problems she just compares my problems to hers. I guess.
Example. I told my mom how I thought about suicide and how I really dont like the world. She told me that she feels the same way sometimes.
That s it.
She didn t tell me that I shouldn t be thinking about suicide, she didn t tell me that it was wrong. She just said she feels the same way sometimes. And then after that she forgets about my problems and talks about hers. It seems like she tries to one-up my problems. Like she makes hers seem worse.
Am I right, do you think? I mean she does this to whatever I talk to her about. Well anything that involves my problems and feelings.
I try to talk to her but she gets irritated because if I tried to talk to her again this will be about my....fifth attempt, in the last 5-6 months id say,  and I think she will just one day get so mad to just tell me to shut up or something.
Whenever I try to start up a conversation about how I feel, her face turns...sour I guess. Its very irritating for me, if you can imagine.
I just want to get through to my mother. She doesn t seem to want to help. She s caring for me like when im sick and everything but I guess she s not very good at the serious talks . I dont know.
I just wish I could talk to my mom about anything. I want that relationship.
Where she d be there for me and id be there for her....you know.
I guess we ve kind of have that but not...really.
Sorry, Im not trying to be confusing or anything on purpose.
Well anyways I would appreciate some advice. What should I do?

Thanks in advance.

Edited: 4/8/2010 2:21 PM by
Truth be told, you shouldn't be thinking of suicide. It is very unhealthy, and you deserve to be heard when you reach out for help. Kudos to you for continuing to make attempts to reach out to your mom. It does sort of sound like she just does not know how to cope with the feelings that you are having. In all fairness to her, it is not easy for a parent to hear that their child is thinking about killing themselves. Although, that does not mean that you do not need some extra support right now, because you definitely do deserve it. Do not quit reaching out to your mom, she will never tell you to "shut up" when you come to her about these thoughts. Do not let that door between you two close completely.

Now, the key thing right now is that you keep reaching out for help. If your mom is not the best source at this point, then it is best to start exploring other possibilities. Thankfully there is plenty of help out there for you. Overcoming these thoughts is something that you can do, and will do much easier with some extra support. A school counselor can be a very valuable source. Because suicide is something VERY serious, you need to talk with someone. It would be wise at this point to stop in, and talk with your school counselor. Let them know how you have been feeling, and that you have been feeling this way for a while. They can provide you with some support immediately. Another thing they can help with is talking with your mom. They can help advocate for you, and sit with you, and your mom to clearly express the importance of you getting help. It might take hearing it from an outside source for your mom to really recognize what you are dealing with. If it is true, and your mom feels this way too, then she can benefit from some outside counseling as well. It is very possible that your mom does not realize that there is help for her, as well as for you. Neither one of you should have to be dealing with these thoughts alone, or going without support. So please, try to make some time to go in and share these thoughts with your school counselor.

Again, GREAT job reaching out to your mom. Do not stop reaching out. Try a new approach with her this week. Get out a pen, and paper and write out your feelings. Really pour your heart out into this letter, and then leave it for your mom before you head to school. This will give you a chance to get things out, and also give her a chance to read it alone. She will have more time to reflect, and maybe come up with a better response than what you have gotten in the past. Do not give up on getting help, and do not give up on reaching out to your mom. She loves you, and wants the best for you. Sometimes it is not easy being a parent, and being able to say all the right things. At the end of the day, you are still her daughter and she wants nothing more than for you to pull through this. Take things one day at a time, and talk with those around you. Things will get better.

Keep reaching out to us. We are here for you 24 hours, seven days a week. If you want to talk about these suicidal thoughts directly with a counselor, we are available now.

Wishing you the best,
Mandi, Counselor