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Edited: 6/28/2010 10:03 AM by
Emotional Blockades
I am hesitant to even write this email. I've always felt these sort of things were internal struggles, things you handled yourself. That approach hasn't worked for the last decade I don't know why I should expect it to start now. I am an intelligent person. The thing is I know I am a good person. I know I bring light and happiness to people I love and to people I don't even know. I just run into these emotional blockades. Crushing waves of self dissension and sorrow. I've manifested that pain in physical attacks on myself since high school, cutting my arms and legs. I often contemplate suicide, though I don't think I would ever actually do it. I know I am a good person and despite that I encounter this emotional opposition. It feels as though my emotional being is a ride on which I am merely a passenger. I'm not comfortable talking to anyone I know because I don't think they would understand, but I can't keep going in this direction. It's not solving anything.
Edited: 6/28/2010 10:04 AM by
Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to our hotline tonight.  You mentioned you have had many emotional struggles throughout your life including thoughts of suicide.  I'm glad to hear that you feel suicide is not something you feel at this point you will attempt.  It sounds like you have gotten to the point to where you need some support to help you through the pain you are feeling.  You mentioned you have always tried to keep your pain and feelings inside instead of reaching out to tell someone. 

You stated in your email that you have dealt with your pain by self injuring for the last few years.  There are more healthy ways of dealing with pain besides self injuring.  Some people say that when they exercise it helps them feel happier and more content. Others prefer to write their feelings down in a journal on a daily basis, or write poetry. There are support groups located throughout the United States for everything from depression to parenting.  If you would be interested in finding a support group in your area you can check your local newspaper or call United Way.  United way is located in the phone book and they provide referrals for help in your local area.

If you need help finding a support group you can email or call us and we can help.  If you think counseling would be helpful we can provide you with a counseling center in your local area.  Please keep in touch with us to let us know how you are doing.  We are here to help you in any way that we can.

Take care,

Michelle, Counselor