I am sorry to hear about the many difficulties you are facing in your life. I am very concerned for your but am so glad that you have reached out today. Thank you for contacting us, I hope we are able to help, I don't want you to have to go through this alone.
What concerns me most are your previous suicide attempts. You say you have attempted a lot in the past, are you currently having suicidal thoughts? Do you currently have a specific plan of how to end your life? I can understand why you may feel so down with everything that has been going on, but I hope you can keep yourself safe.
The pain you are experiencing can end. These problems, although very difficult, are only temporary, but suicide is permanent. You have a lot of life in front of you and it could be a positive and happy life if you can just get through this difficult time. Can you promise to call us before you would do anything to hurt yourself? We don't want you to have to suffer alone.
Have you told anybody else about the rape you went through? Being sexually assaulted can be a very traumatic experience. Please reach out an talk with somebody about that as well. You can call us, of course, or you can call the RAINN number, which specifically helps people who have been assaulted.
RAINN - Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network:
I am sorry to hear you don't feel as though you can turn to your parents for help. Do they know about any of the difficult things you have been through? Do you have anybody at your school that you can turn to? A teacher or a counselor, perhaps? Or how about a different family member, like an uncle or aunt? I just don't want you to be alone when you are facing so many difficult issues.
Please call us, and in the meantime, take care of yourself. Do things you enjoy, try to avoid dangerous objects, people, or situations and surround yourself with positive people. And instead of cutting yourself, try just holding an ice cube against the part of your skin that you usually cut. It is safer and can provide the same sensation. Cutting is a dangerous behavior.
Thank you for reaching out and please call us or at the very least email us back and let us know how you are doing!