Don't Have Control Of My Life
I am very depressed a lot of the time and cut. I have a counselor, but she is judgmental and doesn't help very much. At school I'm labeled *The emo girl* and kids push me down the stairs and have started like 10 rumors this year. The principal doesn't do anything!!!! Me and my mom fight like crazy, and me and my stepdad do too. Kids degrade me and make me feel worthless.
There's this kid who is always asking for nudes and I tell him no! I have a boyfriend but he won't leave me alone! My best friend tries to pressure me into being floozy. And tries to make me show *Parts* on webcam. It makes me feel worthless. This morning I thought about suicide. So I cut and I have a total of 26 new cuts :'( I don't feel I have control of my life. I don't know what to do anymore.
We are glad you are reaching out today. It sounds like you have lots of resources for help. Unfortunately your problems have continued. Sorry that things haven't gotten better for you. Let us know more about how you feel about yourself. Your self-esteem can help you deal with the peer pressure. Just know that true friends don't try to make you do things that are hurtful. Talk to your friends about how their negative behavior is affecting you. You have a right to continue to say no and not deal with friends that are negative.
Counseling can be very helpful. Talk to your counselor about your feelings of her being judgmental. It will be important to also talk to your family about ways to improve your relationship. When students are pushing you down the stairs, you are probably getting hurt. Is your principal aware of injuries that you have suffered? Have you had to go to the doctor? You deserve some help in all of this. Don't stop letting adult knows. Try the solutions they may be giving you and return with the positives and negatives. Keep moving forward with the suggestions.
Just know that nothing is worth you ending your life or cutting to cope. Please make a promise to keep yourself safe today. You have done a great job at expressing yourself with us. Please let the adults in your life know that you are feeling suicidal and cutting yourself. This can assure that you are given the help you need to get better. It sounds like your parents are trying to help you by getting you into counseling. Instead of cutting, try music, reading, journaling or even walking, if it is safe. Focus on those hobbies or activities that you are talented or enjoy. These can help you feel positive when you feel down. You don't need lots of friends. One or two good friends can give you the support and trust your need. Please let us know how things are going!