There is a dance at my school at the end of the school year. This girl wanted to know who I wanted to go with, and I told her that I wanted to go with her. She accepted, but when I told my mom, she won't let me go with someone! I don't understand why she isn't letting me go with anyone! I told the girl that I couldn't go and now I feel so bad! How can I get over this? Please help! I'm ready to cry!
Thanks for emailing us. I know you're extremely disappointed about your mom's decision but maybe there's another way to approach the situation. It's always best to keep researching options until you know for definite that something is truly impossible.
Is your mom saying that you can't go to the dance at all? Or is she saying that you can go to the dance, but just not with the girl? Has your mom felt or acted this way about similar situations in the past? Have you tried talking to her about why she feels this way? It will be important for you to try talking with your mom and getting an understanding about why she thinks and feels the way she does.
Many times parents feel that at this age that you may be too young to be attending dances or other events as a "couple" or as a "date." Would she consider letting you go with a group of friends that could possible include this girl? I know you feel really bad about this and especially about telling the girl you can't go, but don't give up until you've made all attempts to talk with you mom and help her to understand how you're feeling about this too.
It's possible that she may have good reasons for her decision, but it would be good to know them. Keep the lines of communication open. There's still quite a bit of time left before the end of the school year and a lot can happen between now and then!
If you're wanting to talk about this situation more or would like advice about how to handle other situations at school or at home, try giving our hotline a call at 1-800-448-3000. Trained counselor are available to listen to your concerns, offer advice, and help you make good decisions for yourself! You can also get online support at yourlifeyourvoice.org, Mon-Thu, 8-11p.m. CST. Check us out now... we'd love to hear from you!
Keep your head up. Things can and will get better!
Alicia, Crisis Counselor