Thanks for sending us an email. You seem really frustrated with the classes you're in this year. Talking about it is a good way to start feeling better, so we're glad you wrote.
Academic difficulties will hit people at different times all throughout their education. Sometimes it seems completely random, too. You may sign up for a course you know you're good at, but once you're in the class, it's crazily harder than you'd expected. Freshman year is being particularly tough on you.
How about going to your school counselor about this? Just explain to her that you never struggled like this before in middle school, and you'd like to know why this is happening and what you can do to make things a bit easier. She may be able to really offer you some good advice, or she could act as a liaison between you and your teachers. If you need extra study time or something along those lines, she may be able to help.
Right now, you may be feeling extra depressed because of stress from school. Stress will mess with your moods! Things seem much more sad, annoying, or infuriating when you're especially stressed out. From a third party perspective, it sounds like your sister really does care about you. The fact that she kept your hug on her mind for a few hours means that she was thinking about you.
Sometimes, when it seems that people don't care, it could really be that they don't know how to help. They don't know what to say to make it better and are sort of at a loss. This could be what you're seeing with your family. Chances are, they do care about you a lot!
The suicidal thoughts you mentioned are often products of overwhelming stress! When your brain doesn't know what else to do, it sometimes seems to suggest killing yourself. This is an important sign! This means you're having trouble coping with life right now, so you need to make sure you get some help. If you ever really start planning to kill yourself, tell someone immediately! Call us, tell your parents, tell your counselor or teachers, etc. Suicide doesn't solve a thing.
So right now, your goal should be to talk to your school counselor about your academic concerns. You'll probably feel much better after you do, and you'll probably come away with some solutions. In the meantime, if you ever need to talk, call us -- we're here 24/7. We also offer live online support Mon-Thurs 8pm-11pm CST.