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Edited: 5/20/2010 3:38 PM by
Overcoming Jealousy
I need help. Me and my boyfriend argue about this often, and i think it's all my fault. I hate when a pretty girl walks by, i always think my boyfriend is looking at her. Or if a girl has big breasts, i think he's looking at her. I don't like it when he watches movies that show girl nudity. I've expressed to him how i feel, and he says 'it's not like i'm watching the movie specifically for THAT nude part. I'm watching the movie for the movie'. And i can understand that, but i am just a really jealous person. He always compliments me, and tells me how much he loves me and cares, but i just can't stand him thinking other girls are attractive. And when i think about his ex and his relationship, i get really angry because she was his first for EVERYTHING and i wasn't. She will always be remembered and i can't do anything about that. Please help!!
Edited: 5/20/2010 3:40 PM by
Relationships are extremely difficult, please do not feel you are the only person with this issue.  The fact that you are able to verbalize to your boyfriend your feelings is great and communication is key in a relationship.  Remember even though your boyfriend had a previous girlfriend he is with you NOW.  Keep in mind, he is with you for a reason and cares about you.  He may have a had his firsts with someone else, but she obviously is not the person he wants to be with and that is what matters.

One of the hardest things in a relationship is trust and confidence.  In order for a relationship to work you have to feel comfortable with who you are and trust the person you are with.  Has your boyfriend done something to break your trust?  Have you been in an unhealthy relationship before?  These questions are important to think about.  If you are having trust issues you need to make sure that you are communicating with your boyfriend how you are feeling.  You have to be able to talk to him about your feelings, but also willing to make some changes on your own.  If you continue to feel that your boyfriend is constantly checking out other girls and can't get that out of your mind then there are other issues you need to be working on.  Jealousy is a big cause of break-ups, so it is important you start trusting your boyfriend.  If he wanted to be with other girls he would have broken things off with you already.  Sit down with each other and discuss your expectations of the relationship.  Now understand that a relationship is all about compromise, you both are going to have to make changes if you want the relationship to work.  If you two are meant to be together you will work through these issues and have a great relationship. 

Please know that we are here to support you through this time with your boyfriend.  We are always available and even have counselors you can talk with on the phone 24/7 if you feel comfortable calling us.  No matter what, keep reaching out and let us know how things are going from time to time.

Take Care,
Andria, Counselor