You are certainly dealing with some difficult issues and feelings right now....we are here for you! It seems like there are several relationships in your life that seem strained, stressed, and a little overwhelming for you at times.
Dealing with a divorce--yes, its between your parents--but it does affect you. However, think about what you have control over...you and your feelings. You can share your feelings with your mom and your dad, and explain to them--what do you feel your options are? Can you share with the both of them, you feel your schedule now has changed from when you were young, and being gone every weekend is really difficult. Can you talk with your mom about how you feel about your step dad who seems to be not very personable?
It really seems like your feelings for your boyfriend have changed.(?) Sometimes this happens when you mature or become involved with other activities--your friendships change--it does not mean that you do not care for him anymore, it just means that the relationship has changed. Yes, you have helped him through some difficult times, with his depression and suicidal thoughts....but he should not make you feel like if you break up with him--his life is over. That is not healthy and you do not have to feel that pressure. Is your boyfriend seeking any counseling to help him with his depression and suicidal thoughts/ideations? Do your parents know how you helped him? Are his parents aware of his thoughts/feelings/depression?
Please know that we are here...at the hotline, we talk to kids/teens and parents about various issues--we could talk to you, your boyfriend, and your parents. Our counselors are available 24/7.
Take care....and let us know what you decide to do....or what has helped.
Kara, Counselor