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Edited: 6/28/2010 10:12 AM by
I Need To Help My Friend
I am contacting you because I really need some help helping my friend, who's a little younger then me. A bit more then a month ago I discovered she has been counting calories obsessively. When I discovered this it appeared she had been eating about 300-700 a day for maybe a couple weeks. I have been doing my best to help by having her gradually eat more calories per day every week or so. Needless to say I feel like am I under a huge amount of pressure to try and do the right thing. Recently she kind of gave up and went into really serious denial which really really scared me and I was about to tell her parents but then she started trying again just because she really doesn't want to scare me but I think she will probably go back into denial again. My plan was always to tell her parents, and I know that increasing her intake would not stop her from counting, I was just trying to increase her health enough that it would not be as hard to tell her parents so they could take her to a professional to solve the problem better then I can. I really need some help so I can figure out if I can actually help her on my own and it is worth it to keep trying, or if it is just best to let her parents know as soon as possible. She tells me it is not an appearance thing (like fear of getting overweight) and she is extremely honest with me, a lot of the time I am surprised by how honest she is with me and how much she cares about my opinion on the matter. There is more I would like to discuss but I think this is enough to start out with. Thank you for helping me and people in these kinds of situations, I'll be waiting to here from you.
Edited: 6/28/2010 10:12 AM by
Thank you for reaching out with this delicate situation.  You are a very true friend and she is extremely lucky to have chosen you to be the one to be honest with. You have a ton of weight on your shoulders and really it is too much for one person to handle on their own.  It really would be a good idea to let her parents know what is going on with her because she is starving herself and eventually will die from this if she does not find help.  She needs professional help no matter what.  Even though she is trying to increase her calories, her heart will not be able to take it and it will give out.  That is a lot to carry.

You have been there for her and she feels comfortable with you.  Just know that in no way, if anything should happen, would it be your fault.  She made the choices and followed through with starving herself.  By letting her parents know, you are giving her the gift of help. If you have any documentation from her to show her parents it would be good to hold onto it.  Just in case she lies to them and they don't believe you, you would have texts or messages from her to show them.  She needs help is the bottom line.  Don't let her manipulate you into anything other than talking to her parents.

If you are not comfortable talking with her parents alone ask your parents to help you out in this.  They should be willing to offer a hand of support to you.  Let us know how it goes and if you need any information regarding this situation.

Take care and know that we are here 24/7 and can be reached by phone by calling the number below.

Naina, Counselor