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Edited: 3/4/2010 3:47 PM by
I Don't Know What I Want
my heart itself doesn't even know what it wants. it wants the boy i've been in love with for the past 8 months, but it also craves the one who is ignoring me. he's been talking to the other girl and not me.. which hurts. i told her today that i am jealous of her. she asked why and i told her it is because she is an amazing friend, but also because she has him and i don't. she told me not to be jealous and that he will come back around to talking to me. today in the halls and at lunch whenever he would look at me i would glare at him. i dind't want to because it is mean, but i didn't know whta other face to make. he just pissed me off so mucha nd i want him to know how much he urt me. how can he be so heartless as to do that? turns out he only liked me a teensy bit. everything we had was a lie.. a test to see if he really liked the other girl or if it was only lust. personally i want to kick his ass for leading me on, but at the same time i don't want to fdo anything to hurt him. he smiled at me on the bu today and acted as if there was nothing wrong. he's such a liar like that. i just simply glared. we started at each other for long increments of time. he knew what he was doing. we would just sit, start, glare at each other.. or i was at least. towards the end of it his face would change just the slightest bit and you could see in his eyes that he knew. you could see in his eyes that he could tell how he'd hurt me so.. and that he felt bad. i hope he does feel bad. what he did was unforgivable.. but i've already forgiven him..
 
Edited: 3/4/2010 3:48 PM by
Your heart and your head are telling you to do two different things.  Your heart really likes him and wants to be with him.  This is the part that forgave him.  Your head is telling you to be mad and move on.  You deserve someone who is honest and doesn't cheat and will be good to you.  It is really hard to decide which way to go.
 
You both are sending one another conflicting messages with your looks.  He may be reading your looks differently than how you mean them to be.  And he might be looking at you one way and you might be reading it another.  It is time to solve this.  Decide what you want to say to him.  Talk through this.  Hear it first hand. Help yourself feel better by making him understand how he made you feel.  He cannot read your mind.  As much as we would like guys to figure out what we are thinking, they can't.  Again, they are not mind readers. 
 
It might be helpful for you to write out on paper what you are feeling.  Be honest with yourself.  Just list what you are feeling and then put it into sentences.  When you are ready you can share it with him.  Then your stare downs will be over.  Talking is the best communication.  Give it a try. 
 
Reach out again and let us know how it goes,.
 
Naina, Counselor