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Edited: 3/16/2010 12:09 PM by
How Do I Make Girlfriend Feel Comfortable?
Hi,  I found this site by searching the web and was referred here. There are two things I would like to talk about.

First off, I have a girlfriend, I know everyone feels like 12 or 11 is too young, but I believe that you need to start at some point, and love comes naturally anyway. So, whenever she talks to me, whether it be on the phone, facebook or in person she always seems to not know what to say and she's really nervous all the time she's around me. Is this me or here? We've been together a month now and I talk to her when I have free time. When I walk out of school we are always together then, and she'll explain some of her problems to me, and she seems to like it when I listen. There are two other problems I think she doesn't like; first off, people know me and her, and most of 6th grade knows we are going out with each other, the boys won't leave us alone. The second thing is other girls constantly hug me? No idea why, started in 5th grade when I first moved here. What should I do with my girlfriend to make her feel more comfortable talking and what should I do about the other guys and girls.

Onto the second topic I'm not doing so great in English, I struggle with homework though I usually get it done. My teacher says she loves my writing but I really need help with grammar, and my parents don't understand the stuff in the workbook.  I don't know where to get help with that!

Thank you for reading! Email me as soon as possible with a reply
Edited: 3/16/2010 12:10 PM by
It is good to begin developing relationships early so you will be able to identify qualities in others that you like.  When you are older and are looking for lasting serious relationships, you will know to look for someone who possesses those qualities that you feel are important.

The issue with the girl not knowing what to say is one that you can help her with.  If you possess good conversation skills, you can lead her into conversations.  Ask her questions about things she is interested in or that she has knowledge of.  It will be easier for her to talk about these things and she will feel more comfortable.  Perhaps asking her about the English assignments that you struggle with and ask for her help.  Two heads are better than one!

When the other boys and girls bother the two of you, what is your response?  Sometimes they will continue to bother you just to get your reaction.  It sounds as though they are teasing you.  Teasing will continue and even get worse, based on the response to the teasing.  You are the only one that can control the response.  Have you told the girls that you would rather they did not hug you?  If not, tell them gently but firmly that it makes you uncomfortable.  Don't hug them back.  That is a very clear social cue to them.

Stay in touch and let us know how things are going.

Pat, Counselor