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Edited: 5/15/2012 9:50 AM by
What Should I Say

My friend is very self conscious about her body. I told her that I would love to help her talk through it, but she always makes it a joke. I don’t really know if I consider her a friend because of the way she treats me.

 
She always makes fun of me and says that I have no friends. As much as what she is saying may be partially true, that’s not something you say to a friend. I want to get through to her that she needs to respect others in order to respect herself. What should I say to her without getting her mad at me? 

 

Edited: 5/15/2012 9:52 AM by
Thanks for writing in.  Helping a friend who is struggling is a very noble gesture, however, it sounds as though she becomes defensive when you try to talk with her about her self consciousness.  That is a "social cue" that she is not ready or receptive to that approach.  Don't keep trying that or you may offend her and she will no longer want to be your friend, and as you have experienced, she may say things that are hurtful to you.
 
Just let her know that your intention was just to help and if it didn't come across like that, you are sorry.  You will not bring it up again and that you will respect her wishes.
 
Try to focus on just doing fun things and talking about fun things with this girl.  Ask her what she wants to do and then ask if it is your turn to come up with an activity.  Showing respect is much more powerful than talking about it.
 
Good luck.
Pat, Counselor