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Hotline Discusion Relationship:I Want To Help Him :QuestionAnswerUse SHIFT+ENTER to open the menu (new window).Open MenuOpen Menu
Edited: 4/4/2012 9:03 AM by
I Want To Help Him

I've written to you guys before and you helped a lot and I'm better now so I wanted to know what I should do for this situation okay here's the thing. I'm in a long distance relationship and our relationship has been really rocky not because of us, but his parents don't want us together and because they don't and he choses to stay with me.

His dad beats him and he treats him horribly and there's days where I feel like its all my fault. I want to help but my boyfriend doesn't want me saying anything. We've been together for more then a year and I won't see him for a long time. It's already been 5 months since I saw him. I worry a lot. He suffers from depression and he's developed a addiction to pot which he's in denial about.

I try to inspire him to stop and do better, but he just ends up smoking again and his grades have been dropping so low. He's been changing towards me too and treating me differently now. He did things to lose my trust and hurt me emotionally. It made me very insecure about myself, but he tells me I'm all he has because his family basically disowned him. 

I believe he loves me, but I don't know what to do. I want to help but I don't know how.

Edited: 4/4/2012 9:03 AM by

It is completely understandable you want to help your boyfriend because he is in such a tough and even abusive home. There are things you can do and then there are things you can't. What you can do is if he is being beaten you can contact Child Protective Services in your area 1-800-842-2288

and let them know of him being abused. They are social workers that can talk with him to make sure he is safe and so he can have an advocate to help him. Then you can give him our phone number, we have counselors that can talk with him 24 hours/day. Also, make sure you are getting support from an adult like a parent for yourself because this is very stressful for you to go through alone.

It is just important you understand your role and that you can have concern but it is important you not take on his emotions because that will only bring you down and affect your emotional well being. That doesn't mean you don't care for him and want the best for him and want this situation to get better, but, understand because you are limited in what you can do, you have to let go of being responsible for what is happening to your boyfriend.

We are so glad you reached out to us an we want to help your boyfriend very much. Please let him know we care about his situation and can provide support or even just a person for him to talk to. Make sure you are taking care of yourself and if you want to feel you are making a difference for your boyfriend contact the CPS office or even give us a call so we can talk further about this situation and how you are doing.

Take care,

We are here for you!!!

Anne Counselor
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