Hi!! We are glad that you thought to reach out to the hotline. Trust is an extremely important component in a good healthy relationship. It sounds like you have been on both sides of coin as far as this goes with your boyfriend. Once trust is broken, it takes a lot of time to rebuild it with each other. Some couples are able to do this, while others not.
You are willing to give this relationship a try again, but it takes two to make that work. In other words, is your boyfriend willing to try again? It does not matter if his mother wants the two of you together, your friends think that you are a cute couple, or his buddies put pressure on him to get back together. The two of you need to be the sole decision makers. The hotline can not tell you what to do, but we can give suggestions to perhaps help guide you in the direction that is best for both of you.
You could start by asking yourself, why did you cheat and why do you think he cheated? You both may really like each other, but:
1) Maybe one of you had a history of cheating or being cheated on and this affects future relationships.
2) Maybe although you like each other, you are rethinking being in an exclusive relationship and you want to date around.
3) Sometimes there is more pressure to become more intimate when you date one person for so long, and you want to escape that pressure.
4) Other times, life gets in the way. As a high school student, there might be several activities you are involved with, and your time is spread too thin so certain aspects of your life suffer as a result.
5) People change. At your age you are just realizing what you are good at, your moral value system is continuing to develop, and your interests and your group of friends might change.
These are just a few ideas of what might be happening here. Ask yourself what qualities you think are very important in a good friend. Does he fit this description? You need to be caring, good, respectful, trustworthy friends before taking it to the next level. We wish you the best as you go through this process. A break up is never fun whether it was the right decision or the wrong decision. We realize that it is hard adjustment. Surround yourself with friends and family who support you. Sometimes it helps to give it a few days before you decide what your next step it.
Laura - Crisis Counselor