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Hotline Discusion Feeling:Use To Be Social And Happy :QuestionAnswerUse SHIFT+ENTER to open the menu (new window).Open MenuOpen Menu
Edited: 9/21/2011 3:22 PM by
Use To Be Social And Happy

I used to be happy/social the exact opposite of shy. My mom is poor and we have a horrid relationship. People say they hate their parents, but they make it up and they are out shopping and eating with there parents couple of hours later, but with my mom. We hate each other. We haven't had a peaceful or nice conversational within the last two years.

That is no big issue. I moved several times. When we first started moving. I was still a kid. I talked a lot. Answered the teachers questions. After 5 or so moves. I just got quite. I was locked up for 3 months before that. Could that have some thing to do with the depression? I started school 4 days ago, and I do not have a SINGLE friend. 

I have not opened my mouth at all in class except for one time someone said hi and I said it back. I sit alone during lunch. I just don't have the motivation to talk. It's like I don't see the benefit of having friends until I get home and I'm all lonely. People say I dress like a bad kid. Baggy pants and shirt, but that is the way I like it. Besides I don't judge people on their looks anyways.

Sorry I kind of  jumped back and forth in my story. I'm used to answer random questions asked by staff members and authorities.

Edited: 9/21/2011 3:22 PM by

Thanks a lot for writing us today. We're sorry that you're feeling lonely, and having a hard time making friends.

The best solution for you would probably be to get involved more at school. In class it might feel like everyone's judging you, but if you can find a sport, activity, or club at school with a topic that interests you, then you can attend that knowing that you'll have something in common with the people there, and have something to talk about.

You can even try and get into classes that have more collaboration and group activities. Sometimes a simple thing like that can lead you to new friendships.

Remember, regardless of the financial troubles you might have at home, and the frequent moves, you deserve to be happy. You're clearly smart and confident in how you want your life to be. You just need to stop doubting yourself, and remember that you deserve happiness.

If you ever want to talk to somebody about what you're facing, or you feel like you could benefit from counseling for social anxiety, you can call our hotline. We can listen to you about what you're facing, and even give you numbers for resources in your area that can help you further in the future.

Thanks again for writing to us. It's great that you're looking for help. You can find some other answers we've provided to teens with anxiety about social situations at the link below.

http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Search/Results.aspx?k=social%20anxiety

Best wishes to you as you take steps to get more connected at school. Once you improve things there, you might find matters improving with your mother as well.

Sincerely,

Counselor Graham