We are so glad you are reaching out and that you found our website. Don't ever feel like you are whining and that you have to apologize for expressing yourself here. We are here to help!
It can be frustrating when it seems like everyone is telling you what to do rather than asking or encouraging you. It sounds like your parents are there for you, but the communication is not good. Your dad may be overworked and stressed and when he is home he is not able to relax and talk to you the way you need him to. You know your mom tries her best but if your dad is not home much she may also feel stressed and tired. However it is important for you to know that it is not your fault that your parents are unhappy. There is probably very little you can do to change the way they feel and act, you can only change yourself and make yourself a better person.
Since you love basketball and had a great time last year, by all means join a team and play again this year! It is important to have at least 1-2 positive activities you enjoy in your life. Basketball is great exercise for the body and it also takes sharp mental ability. If by chance you can't play on the team at school, look into a team at the Y or another league. If your parents are not supportive of this, consider talking to your school counselor or another trusted adult who can help your parents understand the importance of staying active and being part of a team.
Cutting yourself is very dangerous and it can lead to more problems. It sounds like you know this and you want to stop, but have not been able to find a better way to cope up to this point. Think about other things you can do instead of cutting yourself to cope. If you can, go outside and shoot hoops when you feel this way. Take a walk around the block or ride your bike if you live in an area where you can do this. Other options are playing or listening to music, journaling your thoughts and feelings, talking to someone, or even taking some deep breaths to calm down and refocus. You may have other ideas also.
We also think your parents should know about the cutting. We can help you find the best way to talk to either parent and try to communicate with them in a way they will understand. Please give our Hotline a call or e-mail us again after thinking about these suggestions. We want to be sure you are OK and that you are safe. Keep reaching out and we hope to hear from you soon!
Take care and stay safe,