We are so glad you have reached out to us about your cutting. It does sound like it has escalated and you are using cutting as a way to deal with pain in your life. It also sounds like your cutting has become an addiction and it is getting impossible to stop those cravings to cut. It is great you did attempt to try other ways of dealing with those cravings like using ice etc. That says you are wanting this to not consume you and are willing to try other things. That is encouraging.
Cutting is an addiction to many people and because of it controlling your behaviors it may require more intense intervention and support. So, we want to see if you are able to get others involved like a school counselor, family members, clergy or any other person that can help in a supportive, therapeutic way.
If you are in counseling you can have someone to support you and guide you through the issues you are dealing with and give you better and healthier ways of dealing with conflict. We think this should be a priority in your situation and if you need someone let us know and we can provide you with contacts.
In the meantime, taking your feelings very serious when you get stressed out especially with the loss of your friend. When you get stressed out it is so important you pause, and take care of your emotions first before you get overly stressed. There are some coping skills that you can try and even write down a plan you will do when you get over the top. Make a notebook for you stress and write down what you will try to do in this plan to take care of yourself.
For example "I will write down my feelings in a journal, call a hotline or friend, listen to music, punch a pillow, take a hot shower, get outside and take a walk, write poetry." and the list can go on and on. Also, include your support contact numbers and names to reach out to in time of stress.
Whenever you stop, take a deep breathe and try other means to distract your anxiety and hurt will help to allow those urges to cut to pass. Your feelings are real and need to be taken serious, so, if you can recognize when you are feeling stress you can take care of yourself rather then cutting which only bring you more unhappiness after you cut.
Here is an article from our website and a website that can also be helpful.