When we're young a lot of times we have mixed feelings and understandings about love. That isn't to say that you aren't in love, because I know that you probably are. It's just that in the process of coming to really understand love, we have to also understand how to be in love. When we're truly in love, it isn't something that takes so much out of us.

Our society gives us mixed up perspectives about love but a great place to start is by understanding friendship. If you can understand friendship then the step beyond that will be more natural and a lot less dangerous.

"Friendship is the purest love. It is the highest form of Love where nothing is asked for, no condition, where one simply enjoys giving."

Most times in our "relationships" this isn't the mindset we even begin with. We usually expect so much from the other person. We expect them to fill some void in us, which is why their leaving or their losing interest in the relationship is so hurtful. When they leave they essentially tear out that void they were filling all over again.

My best advice is to take a step back and really dive into who you are as a single person. Figure out how to live without someone filling that void. Figure out how to fill that void for yourself. If you can't do this as a single person, all of your future relationships are going to be you leaching off of your partner. That leaching drives them away and you are left empty again.

You have to stop filling your sense of emptiness with food and sex. Start understanding yourself so that you can be free to actually give in a relationship.

Boys Town Counselor PW