There are numerous times in our lives where we feel obsessed with our bodies or more accurately our "image" and the teenage years that you have just begun are a prime example of that. It sounds like you're going through a very difficult time and you did a great thing by contacting us. We're proud of your courage!
Since we're not psychiatrists we can't make any kind of diagnosis over the email, but it sounds more like you're dealing with a lot of obsessive thoughts more than an eating disorder at this point. At 5'6" and 104 pounds your body mass index is 16.8 which is underweight for the average woman. So keep that in mind as you exercise and plan your diet. Just like there are health risks associated with being overweight, there are also risks associated with being underweight.
It sounds like the main issue though is that you are having trouble accepting yourself, and very often eating disorders are associated with feeling out of control of something in your life.
So let's work on some problem solving. Start by remembering that you are not just an image. You are much more. An important illustration is to think of someone you love. Now imagine if you were offered a beautiful cardboard cut-out of that person rather than having the actual person in your life. You essentially do that to yourself when you make your life about the pursuit of an image. You turn yourself into a cardboard cut-out.
Also, brainstorm some issues that you feel out of control of and also reflect on when this issue truly began. Really make an effort to journal the history of what you are going through so you can reflect on it and adjust. Very often we get caught up in the moment and forget how much progress we have made. In the process of figuring out how this started and where you want to go, really try to focus on what you are in control of. Maybe you're in control of school, extracurricular activities, time spent with friends and family. Strike a balance between being in control and accepting what you cannot control.
You might consider talking to your mother about getting a different therapist if she makes you uncomfortable. The bottom line is, if you can't be honest with a therapist, they can't really help that much. So discuss your options and let us know how we can work you through this process.
We're always here for you and we're happy to help in any way we can.
Boys Town Counselor PW