We are proud of you for reaching out and realizing that you need support. Being involved in a lot of activities can sometimes backfire. Some people need structure to keep them from unhealthy habits and behaviors; while others, use negative and unhealthy coping skills to deal with the stress and anxiety of being involved in to much. It sounds like all the clubs and activities have you feeling overwhelmed and the financial burden is a big stress.
A couple of suggestions...prioritize your activities and involvements. It may help to sit down with your mom and let her know that you are overwhelmed and would like her help in deciding on what you may need to cut out. This would be a great time to mention to her that it may be helpful for you to see a counselor. It is important for a person with anxiety and/or depression to have a treatment plan so they are staying healthy and getting the support they need.
You are a very strong young woman to be able to reach out for support like you have and recognize that you are headed down the wrong path and need some direction and support. Also, consider having a plan to stop the self-injuring behavior. Get rid of your cutting tools and replace it with a list of healthy coping skills.
Include things like journaling, going for a walk outside, calling a friend, etc. If you try these and they don't work make the promise to yourself you will contact us before resorting to cutting. The Boys Town National Hotline is toll-free and counselors are available 24/7 to provide support and help you. The number is 1-800-448-3000.
We will help you find your way back.