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Edited: 4/8/2010 2:41 PM
Needing Something To Keep Me Going
Im going through a very strange period in my life right now.  Im a college sophomore and im having trouble finding direction in my life.  Ever since i was in jr high and high school i told myself that getting away from my parents and being on my own would finally solve my problems and i would find happiness, but it hasnt.  I really dont know what to do or where to go but everyday i find myself hating where im at right now and wanting to leave.  Last summer i went to california but ended up returning and re-enrolling in school because i didnt think i could make it on my own without a degree.  I regret that decision all the time but dont think i have the balls to leave again even if i think that it would be best.  I get so much anxiety from being in this familiar place, as strange as that sounds, and everyday look forward to when i graduate so i can leave and make my dreams come true. Sadly im not sure exactly what they are.  This of course makes me feel alone and unmotivated.  I dont know, perhaps im not as messed up as i tell myself i am but i feel like i need something to keep me going.  Something to live for, because right now i really dont think i have a reason to.  I just dont want to be like everybody else...
Edited: 4/8/2010 2:44 PM
Many of us have the idea that once we move out on our own, then life is smooth sailing. For some that might be the case, but for most it is not. As an adult you want to break free from your parents, and be able to do everything that you want to do. At the same time, it is a lot of responsibility thrown at you all at once. Being in college, and out on your own will make you think about who you are, and who you would like to be. The good thing is, you are only 20 years old and you do not have to decide overnight. You are not a failure, you can succeed, and there is no reason why you should NOT live. If you need some more direction, then go in and talk with an advisor on campus. Talk with them about your concerns about school, and where you would like to be in the future. Maybe you need to change a few things around, and that is okay if you do.

The important thing is to make you happy, and it is going to be you that makes the necessary changes to improve things. The good thing is that you can do it! Once you talk with your advisor, and work out a plan to get you to where you would like to be then things will get better. Also, make sure you are getting out and being with friends/family. You should have some positive time outside of school as well. Before meeting with an advisor, try writing out your goals. Write out where you would like to see yourself in 3 years, and then write out some short term goals. The short term goals are things that you work on slowly to get to your long term goal that you have set for yourself. Take things one day at a time, and things will work out along the way.

Best,
Mandi, Counselor