Skip navigation links
Discussion Main Page
Family Help
Relationships
Feelings
Suicide
Abuse
Bullying
School
Drugs and Alcohol
Modify settings and columns


Edited: 3/23/2010 11:55 AM
Cutting to Cope with Family
I started cutting in sixth grade because of faimly problems. I've wanted to stop for bout a year. Everytime I get into a fight with a family member I find myself picking up anything I can find to make that cut. Sometimes I don't want to stop, other times the bleeding is so bad that I have to stop. My moms a alcholic, and everytime she takes a drink I find myself crying till I can't control it any longer and I again reach for the blade or whatever is near me. My mom drinks bout 4 or 5 times a week. I told my parents I was cutting, and I told my mom I was cutting because of her drinking. I only told them that because I thought she would stop drinking, but it only made matters worst, and I got no help. I am stilling cutting and its causing problems between my friends now. Any advice?
Edited: 3/23/2010 11:56 AM
Thanks for reaching out to us!  You have done a courageous thing by writing how you are feeling and have definitely taken the first step into getting some help.  Wow, it sounds like you have so much going on in your life.  Not only have been dealing with self-harming, but also the fact that your mother is an alcoholic.  These things are so hard to deal with at your age and we are sorry to hear that you feel you do not have a lot of support.  Please do not feel that you are alone, we talk to teens everyday about similar situations.

Self-harming is such an addictive coping mechanism and many people struggle with it everyday.  It is difficult to watch people we care about hurt themselves and most of the time friends do not know how to handle the situation.  They do not understand why you would want to hurt yourself and worry about all the things that can happen by cutting.  Most times you will find that friends start distancing themselves or start demanding you to change and stop cutting immediately.  This can make the cutting worse for you and make you feel unsupported.  The concerning piece, in your case, is that you are cutting so badly that you bleed to the point of having to stop.  We are worried about you and hope that you know that we are here if you ever need to talk.  Have you told anyone other than your parents that you are cutting?  Many times if you talk to your school counselor, they can help you to figure out different ways to cope with your stress other than cutting.  Another thing you could do would be to call us, we would be happy to talk to you and get your focus off of wanting to cut.  You know as well as we do that by cutting you are creating just another thing to be upset about.  We know it is hard, but there are other ways of dealing with your stress besides harming and scaring yourself.  One of the best ways to start alleviating your stress will be to start talking with someone on a consistent basis, you have so much going on that it would be nice for you to start getting some support yourself. 

Dealing with an alcoholic as a parent is not easy and no one at your age should have to.  There are several resources that offer support to people that have addicts in their life and if you could find some in your area you may start to feel some relief.  Alanon/Alateen, (888) 425-2666, www.al-anon.alateen.org, is an organization that offers information on support groups for people whose lives have been affected by someone else's addiction.  If you call that number you could see if there is a meeting close to you that you could get to. 

We are so sorry that you are going through this alone and hope that by writing you have been able to alleviate a little bit of your pain.  Do not hesitate to get back in touch with to let us know how things are going or if there is anything we can help with.  Remember that we are available 24/7 and have counselors ready to take your call if that would help too.

Take Care,
Andria, Counselor