You have started to get help for yourself. Be proud of yourself for taking this first step. Yes, it can feel very overwhelming and scary, but you now can focus on your path to healing--physical and emotional.
There are many ways to cope with your intense feelings, rather than harm yourself to feel better. After 7 years, it really seems like you are in a place that you are ready to start to process through the feelings that you are coping with. Try talking to us--whether its emailing, chatting, or even picking up the phone to talk. The idea is to reach out for help.
We understand that you are concerned about sharing this news or information with your parents. Yes, they would have their own feelings regarding your safety, etc. However, try to consider talking to them. Think of it this way--if they knew what you were dealing with they would and could get you help. Now, if and when you talk to them, they may not know what to do--you could share our information with them.
Have them look at our websites or call into the Hotline. We have counselors available 24/7 and we talk to parents or kids/teens about various issues. Again, it really sounds like your parents love and care for you--like parents should do. Of course you love your parents and family -- I can tell from your comments that there is love in your home.
A counselor can also really help you sort and cope with the intense feelings that you are having. Consider talking to your school counselor--what they recommend for someone who harms themselves. Chances are, they can also support you too!
Take care and stay safe--keep in touch!