You did the best thing for yourself right now--you reached out for help. We are here to help you, and it really sounds like you need some support. Gaining support will help you through whatever you are dealing with. Your situation does seem very complex, but that doesn't mean that you can't cope with it. Being able to share your feelings, discuss some options, and setting goals can help you focus more on the positives in your life.
Some feelings that you have already shared have caused you to cut, use drugs and have suicidal thoughts. This can be very scary and intense. Please know that you are not alone. You can make positive changes in your life--you are young and you have time.
Are there people or situations that are causing your pain? Do you have anyone that you can turn to when you are in emotional pain? Are there ways that you can release your pain and feelings without harming yourself? Try to come up with a list of 5-10 things that you can do instead of self injuring-- things like exercising, listening to music, journaling, drawing, etc.
We are worried about you as your thoughts are very serious--please reach out again!
Take care,
Kara-Counselor