Hotline Discusion DrugandAlcohol
Father's Drug Use
I was constantly abused growing up by my father. He used drugs such as heroin and cocaine, and my mother did as well. She passed away due to an overdose when I was 10 years old. I have a younger brother who I had to raise, because my father was not fit for the job. I suffer from depression and have since I was about 9. Now that im 17, my father is still using drugs, while lying to his new wife about it, and i feel like i have to keep it a secret and protect him, because if i tell my step mother (who is abusive to my brother) she will kick us out. My dad blames his drug use on me. Even though I was a good child. I never misbehaved, or anything, and up until a few weeks ago I was a straight A student. Im completly lost at this point because I dont know what to do to keep myself sane. I have a boyfriend I have been seeing for 3 years, but due to the stress of my family things have been hard between us. I feel like everyone sees it, but chooses to ignore it, but I dont know how much more I can take.
You really have been through a great deal in your young life. You had to grow up very quickly, while your father has stayed "stuck" in his drug addiction and denial. You have been there for your brother, and you do not want to see him get hurt. What does your step-mother do to your brother that is abusive? Has she ever abused you?
You mentioned that your father blames you for his drug abuse. Please know that you are NOT the reason for his addiction. He has made a choice to not get help for himself, and not take responsibility for his actions, and this looks and feels like emotional abuse.
Is there anyone whom you can talk to about what is going on in your home such as a school counselor, teacher or pastor? Do you have another adult family member such as an aunt, uncle or grandparent who can be your advocate and possibly allow you and your brother to live with them at least temporarily? You mentioned that if you told your step-mother about your father's drug abuse, that she would kick you and your brother out of the house? Why do you think she would do this, has she threatened to kick you out in the past?
You said that you feel lost and are not sure how to keep yourself sane. Are you seeing a therapist or do you take medications for your depression? Do you ever have suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming yourself? Have you ever tried journaling your feelings help you get through when things get tough? Or try creative activities or physical activities to help you cope? When you have a chance, check out some of the coping skills on our website and read what other kids say on: www.yourlifeyourvoice.org
You and your brother don't have to keep suffering in silence. Please consider taking the next step and call our Hotline to speak with one of our counselors. Our counselors are very understanding and they will help you sort through your feelings and try to find a way to handle what you are going through. We are here 24 hours, every day of the week. We are concerned about you and hope to hear from you very soon!
Take care and stay safe,
Cynthia, Hotline Counselor