We are glad you are reaching out today.
It sounds like you are going through a difficult time. Just know that we all make mistakes. That doesn't mean you can't make better choices now. It is normal to want your parents to be proud of your choices. Parent's may not like their children's choices, but it doesn't mean they deal with it by being depressed. Parents let their children know that they want them to do better.
Just know that there are answers for how you are feeling about life. Smoking weed and suicide are not the answer. You are right, this behavior doesn't make the pain go away. You are prevented from finding logical solutions. You will feel better when you get help with improving your grades. You will feel proud again when your parents recognize the positive changes in your life. It is time to deal with what is causing the pain.
Marijuana can be addictive. Please get help to learn positive coping skills. Talk to your parents or a trusted adult about getting into counseling. Feeling down and depressed can prevent you from having positive behaviors and motivation to complete goals. Drug and mental health counseling can give you the support needed to change your behaviors. Past behaviors don't have to control your present.
Please make a promise to continue to stay safe today. Suicide will not only hurt others, but deny you the opportunity to be happy again and reach your goals. We are here for support and guidance. Please let us know how you are doing.