It is great that you reached out to the hotline. It sounds like you are not sure who you can reach out to any longer. Know that harming yourself is never a safe option. Have you lost friends due to the pot use as well, because you mentioned that your relationship with your mom is strained due to smoking weed? 

You said that you only feel happy when you are smoking weed.  Have you considered that it might not be the weed making you happy, but the fact that you don't have to face what else is going on in your life while you're under the influence that is making you happy?  Marijuana's illegality is one reason to stop, but it certainly is not at the top of the list. 

As you read over some of the adverse side effects, know that they are not being listed to scare you or judge you. They are listed so that you might consider healthier options for coping, and so that you can see it's use might be affecting your relationships and school work.

1) it affects memory and focus
2) if affects your reproductive hormones
3) it can make you anxious
4) it can make you addicted and you build up a tolerance and then need more
5) most people will try harder drugs if they smoke marijuana
6) it can cause depression
7) it disrupts your sleep patterns

.....and these are just a few side effects.

Lets get back to the focus of your email now -- your feelings.  You may not have control over whether your dad chooses to spend more time with you or the difficulty of your coursework, but you can take some action by letting your dad or your instructors know how you feel.  Have you ever told your dad that you feel sad when you can not see him more often? 

He might be more apt to listen to you if you phrase your disappointment with visitation this way instead of saying, "You don't spend enough time with me."  Does that make sense?  Have you told your mom how you feel about your step dad? 

Give her some specific examples of how you felt badly treated. You can talk to your instructors about your struggles. See if they will give you some extra time after school, get you a tutor, or let you do some work over again to earn a higher score. 

Don't let smoking marijuana define you. You sound like a nice girl. Good luck.

lk - Crisis Counselor