I have had a pretty ruff past I have been made fun of and beat up sense preschool and about a half a year ago I took a knife and cut my head trying to make myself bleed to death. My mom found me and took me to the ER I told her I didn't mean to. I got about 8 stitches. My mom i feel like im just some1 to show off to her friends a trophy if you will. She gets me everything I ever wanted. She has to high of expatations for me. And when I don't live up to them I Hate myself because of that. sense then I have fell into depression. I have been having breakdowns in the corner and either hitting my head on the wall in the corner or sticking needles into my arms. Lately I have turned to drugs. I get them from my friends who are druggys and smoke. I have tried Weed,Pot Crack,Meth,Tabaco,injecting pot,Beer, a little Whisky and I'm addicted to Smoking Cigarettes it takes alot of the pressure off and makes me feel rely good. Alot of my friends are boys and 3/4 of them have gotten in trouble with the law most of them for drug possestion. And I have gotten in trouble with the law to. I go to partys with my boys!( my friends that are boys I call them my boys) they are all older than me around 13-16. I have gotten into alot of fights my boys always are always backing me up at fights. And well I have just screwed up my life and I'm lost about what to do with it.