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Edited: 11/19/2009 2:38 PM by
My Friend is Drinking
One of my male friends is having family problems and is drinking alcohol. I found out about from multiple sources. Before that happen, my male friend and I were in an argument and we're still not talking to each other. He also blocked communications from me on Facebook, Youtube, MySpace, and most recently Twitter. He is also not on some of my yahoo accounts and his phone is disconnected.

My friend was drinking alcohol and was having problems with his family especially his father. People told me that his dad and grandfather are part of the alcoholism and problems that are going on with my friend. My other friends informed me that some of them drink as well and they asked me "why does it matter?" Others don't know the whereabouts of my male friend or lying to me about his well-being. I went to one of my instant messenger accounts and told my friend that I know about his drinking, emailing him to stop drinking, and I cut him off.

I heard that he has been drinking on and off for about two years ever since he was 16.  Now he's 18.  I feel that none of my friends are not helping him and that they don't care about him. I really want to help him, but I don't want to be seen or known as an enabler.  He is now in his first year of college and I am very scared about how he is obtaining alcohol, the people that he is hanging out with. I heard that he is hanging with bad people. My friends keep telling me that he's fine, but I feel my friend is going through turmoil and is not okay. I am very concerned about his addiction/habit to alcoholism. People are telling me to stay away from my friend and throw him out of my life, but I don't want to do that.

I fear that my friend thinks I'll judge him. My friends do not want to help him and it's possible that he doesn't want help. I am gravely concern about him. I cannot tell my parents because they might feel my friend is a bad person and might want me to stay permanently away from him.

What should I do as a good person to help my friend?
Edited: 11/19/2009 2:35 PM by
Thank you for writing to Boys Town with your concerns about your friend.  You show such dedication to this friend who is in need of help due to drinking.  It is difficult to say what type of help your friend needs.  Some of his friends seem to think that he is in trouble; others seem to think that he is "fine".  One major concern of course, is that his drinking is against the law.  If caught, he could be ticketed and receive consequences that effect him for years to come.  His drinking could also result in making bad decisions, getting poor grades, loss of friends, and physical harm to self, etc. 

If you are interested in helping him, you might consider writing a letter to share your concerns.  While he might be able to block your computer communications, a physical letter in hand would be more difficult for him to ignore.  You can help him by offering your encouragement that he stop before serious consequences occur.  Please feel free to include some information about the Boys Town National Hotline.  We would be happy to talk with your friend about his drinking.  Perhaps he would be willing to talk with someone at a Hotline.  Counselors are available around the clock to talk. 

You are a good friend.  Even if your friend does not respond back to you, you know that you have done your part to express your concern.   

Linda-Counselor