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Hotline Discusion Bullying
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Edited: 8/20/2010 3:37 PM
Trying To Help My Cousin
Hi. My cousin has a problem that i can't help but feel involved with. She used to be friends with this boy and this year she told him she liked him but it got leaked out and all his friends know. Today at the pool they all yelled her name and told her to stop bothering him and told her he didn't like her. But then they said it over and over again and talked in big clusters it was getting annoying! We went to sit at the table next to them and they yelled retreat and the whole group walked away. We were tired of it and went over to do something about it. She went over, bravely, and asked him (in front of all his friends) if they could just forget about evrything and move on, he said yes, but his friend yelled they could never forget about it and the whole group laughed at her. I wanted to do something but didn't know what but i will not let her get treated like this. Another part of the reason i couldn't stand it was because one of the guys is my boyfriend and i had never seen him act like such a jerk. He didn't say a word to me. What should i do?
Edited: 8/20/2010 3:39 PM
Peers can be so horrible at this age!  Your cousin sounds like she is a strong young lady and really stood up for herself.  We hope that she knows how proud she should be of herself.  Keep in mind you there with her and supported her through all of it, so you did exactly what you needed to! 

Unfortunately, there are going to be a lot of idiot moments from your peers you two will have to encounter.  Remember, no matter what is going on people are going to do what they do and many times will be jerks about it.  It's too bad we can't do anything about all the mean things people say, but there are just some people out there that take a long time to grow up and never consider others' feelings before they speak.  Many times people try to make others feel bad about themselves just because they are insecure themselves.  Those boys were probably jealous she likes their friend and not them!  Tell your cousin to keep her head held high and to try and ignore their comments.  There will be another thing to occupy their thoughts in no time. 

As for your boyfriend, you really need to consider confronting him about his actions.  If he was acting like a jerk with the rest of them he needs to understand how it made you feel.   Many times boys like to follow along with what everyone else is doing just so they do not get teased themselves.  It is a lot easier to make fun of people than to stand up for them.  Too bad people do not realize how hurtful they can be and how stupid they look when picking on others.  We really hope your boyfriend will consider your feelings and you two can work out a compromise about what happened today.  The best thing you can do is talk to him and be honest. 

Please tell your cousin she can contact us if she ever needs to and know we are always here for you.  Remember we are 24/7 and have counselors available to talk to if you feel like calling.  Keep us updated with how things are going and never hesitate to get back in touch with us.

Be Strong,
Andria, Counselor