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Edited: 3/31/2010 11:40 AM
MyFriends Won't Let It Go
Hi.  I'm just a normal teenager. Normal friends, normal school, normal home life, everything. But I am constantly being bullied by some of my closest friends everyday.

It all happened at a sleepover. My best friend, had invited me to spend the night. She was inviting a very popular girl with whom I'd been friends with in kindergarten. I thought this was maybe my chance to rekindle our friendship, and start a dynamic trio everyone would be jealous of, we'd have all kinds of inside jokes, and everything. Wrong.

The other girl couldn't come home with us straight after school, so we had some free time to ourselves. I was desperately bored with my clothes, so I asked my friend if I could borrow some. She said sure, since I can fit in most all her clothes. I found a really cute blue summery tanktop, since the weather was nice outside, and we were going to spend most time out there. I forgot to put my shirt in my bag, and so it was laying on the bed. Since it was still winter, I put a three quarter hoodie on, and skipped outside to the trampoline, happy with the world. Not for long.

By the time the other friend arrived, we were sitting on the trampoline waiting for her arrival. When her mom's car drove up, we were excited. She joined us on the trampoline, and we gossiped [kindly, of course] about what went on at school, the guy we liked, the person we couldn't stand, and so forth. Then we decided to go in the house. I wasn't worried, why could I be? My plan was working smoothly.

We went in the house, and went straight for my friend's room to put her heavy bags away. The thing was, I was exceptionally happy. No one was being a third wheel, and everything was going flawlessly. Then they saw my shirt laying there on the bed.

"Isn't this your shirt?" asked my friend, looking at it. I nodded, not sure of what was coming next.

"Yeah, she stripped down right in front of me! Just without a warning!" my friend chimed in, and the two immediately began discussing the lie.

And then the name came: stripper. They taunted me all night. They would make sure I was 10 feet away at all times, or they'd run away. They went onto a website called Faceinhole dot com, and put a picture of me in the place of a pole dancer, taunting me, and they even showed my friend's MOTHER. It was endless. When we were in the bedroom, they didn't like me near the bedposts, because they thought I was going to pole dance.

Everytime the nickname went away for a while, I thought about my speech and conversation topics very carefully. Because one word would get them roused up again, and I would just laugh along, inside breaking slowly into one million shards of hurt.

It went away for the night, and before I went to sleep, I just silently prayed that they'd forget about it in the morning, and we'd just go on being friends.

WRONG.

It was even WORSE. They showed everybody pictures of the stripper. They looked up videos to say, 'Hey, this is her in 10 years'. They told me the guy I liked would never ask me out because I'm a stripper, and I have too many boyfriends. It was madness. We went downstairs for awhile, and the whole bullcrap with the 10 feet away was slowly breaking me out of control. I just shrugged, and grabbed my friend's sister's iPod, and started playing on it. I didn't notice that they had left. I slowly started to cry, thinking of ways I could text her mom, asking her to tell them stop, because I was her favorite. But I couldn't. The second I heard giggling coming right down the steps towards me, I drew back the tears, made it seem as if I had just been playing on the iPod the entire time.
"What? You didn't follow us? You partypooper" my friend said, with pretend disgust in her voice, followed by laughter. I sat quietly as they drew on the board. Tears filled my eyes, and my friend looked at me, very sympathetically, as if she was sorry she did everything. I smiled back, then looked down.

The other girl left early. Ah, I thought. One down, so the torture is twice less painful. But surprisingly, my friend went in her room with me, and we got on laptops, and just simply laughed, played on the computer, and we carried on our tight bond as if no one had interrupted. My heart smiled.

But that doesn't mean I wasn't scarred. I was scarred through the skin all the way to the other side. My heart was still shattered, poking into all other organs, piercing them with the hot tears I was holding back.

I was tempted to ask about why. Why they teased me, why they were being so cruel, but I thought I knew the answer. She wanted to belong. BUT SHE ALREADY DID! She was more popular than I ever was. She had bunches of friends, and she didn't have to TRY to be funny. I did. I had to work for my success, and I had to try to make the friends I made. And she probably thinks the same way of me.

But the teasing continues. In chorus, these two will turn around and mouth stripper to me. In one of our clubs, my friend's friend told 15 people the "secret". And she always claims, 'I don't walk/sit beside/talk to strippers'. And I want to cry. One day, I almost did.

They still act nice to me, and I have to watch my tongue or poof! The whole dumb thing comes right back around.

I don't know what to do. I'm not telling my parents because they'll butt in my life, and choose the road for me. And I'm not telling them to stop, because I don't want to lose their friendship. I pray about it each and every night, because Jesus is the only person who will ever understand my pain, because He's the one who sees me go through it.

So please help me. I want things to go right again.
Edited: 4/22/2010 2:27 PM
It is never easy to deal with friends who bully all by yourself.  That is why, you did the best thing for yourself, you reached out to us!  Nice job reaching out, now consider your next steps....
Think of this:  The behavior of your 'friends' has not stopped.  How or what has to happen in order for them to stop?  What do you think your options are?  We can tell you what to do and what to try but we need to know if you thinking along the same lines.
 
You mention you do not want to talk to your parents--yes, this is an option for you.  And we know that you do not want them to 'fix' this for you, but they can offer guidance and assistance,tell them just that! (Make sure you pick a neutral time to talk to them....not like when you are walking out the door.)
We encourage you seek some adult that you can trust to talk to.  Whether it be your parents, extended family, your school counselor/teacher/coach--you need that someone locally to help you.  We can support you and encourage you--we hope you can stay in touch with us, the best thing is to gain support. 
For whatever reason...your friends feel that they have to make someone else mad or frustrated to feel better--its sad, but that is the reality.  You can rise above that and make some good decisions.  Either politely say something like:  "its really sad that you feel you have to say those hurtful and untrue statements about me to feel better about yourself....I hope you can really understand some day what it truly means to be a friendbecause making those kinds of comments and name calling - is not what good friends do!"
It may also be time to limit the amount of time you spend with them....that will send the message loud and clear that you are not willing to listen to their little games or sayings anymore.  You have the ability to not see them and control what you say....not control them or what they say. 
Keep reaching out....give us a call sometime, we have counselors available 24/7 and we would like to hear from you....take care. 

Kara, Counselor