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Hotline Discusion Bullying
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Edited: 1/10/2012 12:11 PM
Bullied Every Day

I am usually not a happy person especially since my whole life has been so hard. All through school I have been bullied. I tell my family, but they don't believe me when I say I get bullied every day. I have two friends, but one moved and the other doesn't come over often.

I can't visit anybody because the two friends I just talked about are the only people that I know where they live. Besides that we have no money for gas, and I'm the type of person who can't stay in one place very long especially my house because sometimes my parents yell.

I cry for hours even if they weren't yelling at me. The simplest things make me burst into tears. School is the only place where I'm not sad, but I'm still not happy at school and there's no school right now because of new years and other stuff.

Exercise helps me, but I really don't have any place to run or be active because the rooms on this house are small and it's -40 degrees Farinheight. I write my problems down, but it doesn't help much I can't handle all the stress this house causes me.

Edited: 1/10/2012 12:12 PM

Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out and send us an email about things at home. We can really tell that you're feeling so down and frustrated right now. It's tough to go through feelings like that by yourself...which is why it was such a good idea to reach out to somebody.

Things feel really overwhelming for you right now, we believe that. It is our hope that you believe things can turn around for you...because they can.

A big way to help yourself get through a difficult time is by finding coping strategies that work for you. In the email you mentioned that you write and like to exercise...those are really excellent things to do to cope. It helps to have a variety though, so what else could you do?

Instead of just writing about your problems, you could write poems or songs about how you feel and how you want to feel. Focusing on how you want to feel can really start to help bring your feelings up.

It also reminds you that other emotions exist and that you CAN feel the way you want. Aside from writing, you could also listen to music, draw, do breathing exercises, or pray. Do any of these seem like some things you could do to cope? It really is important to express and release your feelings. If you leave them sitting inside of you they will just bring you down.

When you talk to your parents about things, what does it usually look like? Do you do a lot of screaming and get emotional? Do you blame your parents, use sarcasm, or start name calling? All of these things just escalate things further and don't lead to healthy conversations. When you talk to your parents about your feelings or problems, try to do so as calmly, politely, and reasonably as possible.

Be open to what they have to say. If you feel yourself getting worked up, there is nothing wrong with politely walking away from the conversation for a few minutes while you calm down. You can always start talking to them later once you've calmed down. Getting upset and letting your emotions get the better of you just leads to saying or doing things you later regret.

Telling your parents about being bullied was a good idea, but it stinks they weren't more receptive to what you had to say. Have you spoken with the teachers or principal at school about the bullying? Drawing some more attention to the situation would be a good way to open your parents' eyes to the truth about the bullying you experience at school. Nobody deserves to be treated that way by their peers. Being bullied hurts. Here is a really helpful link about bullying that could give you a new perspective on some things: http://yourlifeyourvoice.org/DiscoverIt/Articles/Pages/Bullying.aspx.

Hang in there. We know that this is a difficult time for you, so remember that we are always just a phone call or an email away when you need somebody to talk to. Hopefully this response has given you some things to think about. We hope you have a great New Years!

Stay positive,

Abe, Counselor