Thank you for your email! I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time in your relationship right now. It sounds like your instincts are telling you that something is wrong and needs to change. Are you safe now? Have you ever talked to anyone about this for support? No one ever deserves to be mentally or physically abused. There are lots of ways to work through a disagreement besides hitting someone.

I do think it would be beneficial for you to talk to a counselor, school counselor, pastor/priest, trusted adult, or even police about the abusive relationship. You can always talk to them- they want to help you and keep you safe!

In most relationships, I would recommend talking to the other person about what you need to be different- but not if it would put you at risk for emotional or physical danger.

What do you need from the relationship to make things better? Typically in successful relationships majority of the time, both people are understanding, caring, respectful, trustworthy, loving, appreciative, etc. If you feel like you are in a negative relationship, maybe it would be helpful for you to re-evaluate what you want from him, and how you think you can get there. I know that it can be hard to consider big changes in a relationship, but you can't continue to be treated like this. You deserve better, and you have to have faith that things can and will get better!

While you are trying to sort through all of this, what can you do to take care of yourself? Like listening to music, watching TV, exercising- just try to do something to take care of you! Sometimes it is helpful to relax in times that are so stressful. Try to surround yourself with people that love you and care about you!

Take Care, and please let us know how you are doing!

Krynn, Counselor