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Edited: 4/4/2012 8:59 AM by
Can't Stand Up To Him
When I first met my step dad. My brother and I were told that he didn't believe in hitting kids. Now it's not so true. I am the oldest of six, and wish I could do something. My brother hasn't gone to school all week because of a large bruise on his cheek. My dad says he doesn't know what happened. My other two brothers saw my dad smack him, and the hand print is easily visible if you look close enough.
 
Two of my brothers are adopted and my little sister and baby brother are foster children and are on the verge of adoption. I don't think our home is fit for any of us. My dad has pulled my hair and pushed me, and if I don't wake up on time he will sometimes throw whatever he can at me.
 
Once he gave my brother a bloody nose, and he made it clear it was my fault. I don't want to be abused too, so I do my best to make sure everyone knows I am here for them. My mom doesn't really know about it because she is mostly at work.
 
I've tried to tell her things,  but she doesn't believe me. I'm worried that if I tell anyone I will ruin the family. My two brothers and I run a paper route, and our dad drives it. Is it wrong if he makes us run a lot further if we make him mad?
 
My youngest brother runs as while. I also have two foreign exchange students who know about this problem. They won't say anything because they don't feel it is their place and dad doesn't hit them.
 
I have always felt that he hosts students because I am not good enough. He treats them better than everyone else, and we all know it. He had threatened us before with variations of things. Once he held a knife to me threatening that if I played with my little brother using his foam pirate swords.
 
He would use real ones to 'play' with me. My moms first husband was always drinking and was gone and he was abusive too, and I haven't said much to anyone because I am afraid of my mom getting hurt. There's a lot more, but I have to go soon only my best friend knows that I am sending this. Any advice? Anything at all would help. I am too shy or scared to stand up to him. I don't know what to do. Thanks
Edited: 4/4/2012 9:01 AM by

We’re so sorry to hear what’s going on in your family. This is no good! You’ve done a great job emailing us and asking for help, because this needs to stop, doesn’t it?

The number one thing we can recommend is calling CPS (Child Protective Services.) We know you’re reluctant to get help, but we’re afraid that if you don’t, someone in your family could really get hurt.  The things you’ve described are very scary!  If you need the number for CPS, please give us a call: 1-800-448-3000 (24/7.) 

We can find the number and even help you report the abuse if you’d like. Another thing you could do is call the police, explain what’s going on at home, and ask for help.  They’ll get you in touch with the right people and make sure you’re safe. 

You said that you don’t want to get help, because you’re afraid it will ruin the family.  Actually, your stepfather’s abuse is ruining the family right now.  You’d be getting your family help by talking to someone about this.  And will your mom get hurt if you report this? 

It might cause her some stress, but that’s much easier to handle when compared to the abuse you’re facing.  Being stressed is nothing like being held at knife point.  You deserve to live in a safe home!

In the meantime, here’s two things you can do: 1) take a picture of your little brother’s bruise and put a date on it. After it fades, you’ll have the photo as evidence.  And 2) call 9-1-1 next time your stepfather threatens you.  Some people don’t understand how wrong their actions are until a police officer is on their doorstep.  It might take a call to 9-1-1 to make things better for you!  Don’t be afraid to get help.

Email us back and let us know you’re okay!  We’re worried about you.

Kate, Counselor