I started self-injury back in 7th grade, and I will be going into 9th grade soon.
I've just felt so empty.
My father left me when I was 9. So I've had trust and abandonment issues since then.
I am in a new relationship with my best friend. I really like him. But I'm worried I'll scare him away because of the cutting, emotional baggage, etc.
I also have lots of self-esteem issues. My friends call me pretty and skinny, but all I see is a fat, ugly cow.
So to lose weight, I've been binging and purging once a week. When I'm not doing that, I won't eat.
So far, I've cut the words, "Abandoned", "Worthless", and "I'm fine", into my thighs, I don't ct my arms because I don't wanna call attention to myself.
I cut my legs so no one notices. It's a relief, for awhile, I focus on the pain and forget about my life.
I know I have issues, but my boyfriend says I shouldn't go into counseling, because he likes me the way I am and doesn't want me to change. (He doesn't know about the b/p or cutting.)
My friends do know, and they are worried. They want me to see a therapist, but my boyfriend tells me not to listen.
I'm sure if he knew he would want me to go, but I'm not sure how to tell him.
Help me, I feel so lost. I don't know what to do.