Skip navigation links
Discussion Main Page
Family Help
Relationships
Feelings
Suicide
Abuse
Bullying
School
Drugs and Alcohol
Modify settings and columns


Post
Edited: 6/28/2010 10:08 AM
How Do I Forget The Past And Move Forward?
A couple years ago I was in a relationship with someone he used to hit me throw me call me names and even rape me but none of that happened until I went back to school. Me and him ended up breaking up a year ago. I thought I was getting better after the break up but then I found out he was killed. I ended up going to the funeral and everything he did to me started coming back. Like just all the memories and it scared me. I didn't want to go to help because I was afraid. Then I ended up dating another and I thought I loved him but every time he came near me I would flinch thinking he was going to hurt me. Never did he ever lay a hand on me but I was still scared. Then it came to a point where I try to shut everyone out of my life and just want to be alone. I try to be so happy epically around my family because I don't want them to know. Now every time there is yelling or fighting I tend to shake and go into anxiety and or asthma attacks. As of late my one friends ex boyfriend has been yelling at me and saying I was the one who broke them up and I'm afraid to go anywhere because I'm afraid he will hurt me. After all of this stress I ended up cutting myself just to get away from all of this but it's been so hard. I want to try and forget about my past and try to move forward. I can't be around people because I shake. Every time someone yells or raises a head I flinch I just want to be able to not be afraid and stand up for myself and life a normal life. please help
Edited: 6/28/2010 10:09 AM
Everything that you are experiencing is normal when you have had that kind of trauma in your life.  Being abused by someone no matter how long or what kind of abuse leaves a horrible memory in our brain and sometimes it can be triggered at the oddest times.  In this case, his death was your trigger. 

There is so much help out there for people dealing with PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  If you would go to a doctor he may talk about this with you.  It is treatable.  Our suggestion would be to talk to your doctor about what you are experiencing and then get in touch with a therapist/counselor to work through all of the past abuse issues you are having.  It may take some time to work through it and time to learn to cope with it but it is possible.  You don't have to deal with it alone. 

Until now you have used little or no coping skills to cope with your anxiety.  Cutting yourself may take you away for the moment but it doesn't solve the problem.  Your issues will always be there unless you seek professional help and use healthy coping skills.

We can offer you referrals in your area if you would like to phone us or we can email some in the area you listed. You did an excellent job in reaching out and expressing your feelings and describing what you experienced.  That is the start to battle this PTSD.  Give us a call or shoot us an email.  We are here 24/7.  Until then, stay safe and rejoice knowing that there is help.  Good job! 

Take care,
Naina